Talking to Children About Change

A Picture Book to Talk About Change & Uncomfortable Feelings

Little Tree by Loren Long is a story about a tree who doesn’t want to shed it's leaves because it's afraid of what might happen if it does, it's afraid of change. 

Change can be uncomfortable and scary. 

It can also be full of possibility, but sometimes we need help children to see this. One of the reasons I love using books for difficult conversations like this is because it takes the pressure off, and puts it on the story. It provides a relatable experience and it gives children a visual to build their understanding in a more memorable (and effective) way.

In the beginning of the story, Little Tree is surrounded by lots of other small trees where it feels very comfortable and connected.  As autumn approaches, Little Tree starts to feel less confident and avoids the seasonal change by holding on to its leaves instead of dropping them like all the other trees.  A few seasons pass and Little Tree continues to hold on to its leaves instead of shedding them.  All the other trees grow until they reach high up into the sky.  Little Tree realizes that avoiding change has prevented them from growing big and tall.

This is a great book for talking about how change can make us uncomfortable, even scared.  That part of growing and learning is to face change.  To accept the support of family, friends etc in this change so that we can grow along with them. 

Discussion & Connection Suggestions:

As you go through the topics, try to personalize them as much as possible by making connections to real-world examples of change. To help your child understand and make it relatable, use language that directly reflects the experiences you are trying to work through or prepare for.

Note: There are lots of different topics here, focus on one theme per reading

Topic 1:

Fall is a time of lots of change ➡️ school year, extra-curricular, weather changes

➡️ Reflection: Talk about change in general terms.

This book focusses on change through the seasons. This is a great analogy for life, we go through big changes and small ones.  Some are really obvious and some are not.

Topic 2:

Little Tree watches the other trees shed their leaves, but they hold on to their leaves. 

➡️ Reflection: UH OH!  It seems Little Tree is a bit afraid of change. 

➡️ Personalize it: We have a big change coming up and change can be: hard/scary/uncomfortable/confusing…

Topic 3:

The squirrel tries to convince Little Tree that it’s ok to shed their leaves, but they are not convinced.  

➡️ Reflection: It must be a big change to lose your leaves, what do you think?

➡️ Problem Solve for the character: What do you think could help Little Tree be less afraid of change?

➡️ Problem Solve with your child: What helps you to be less afraid of change? (Be specific here - what could make you less afraid of going to camp?)

Topic 4:

When the winter comes, the forest animals checked in on Little Tree, who was still afraid of change.  Then spring comes and all the other trees grow beautiful green leaves AND they grow a little bit.

➡️ Reflection: Whoa!  The other trees are growing big and strong from their changes.  

➡️ Connect: Did you know that change can be hard, but it can also make you stronger?!?

Topic 5:

Little Tree really struggled with the idea of change.  Then one summer Little Tree was so little and had brown leaves, it looked sick. 

➡️ Connection: Did you know that worrying about change and being afraid of change can make you feel icky?  Do you ever have icky feelings like Little Tree?

Topic 6:

Little Tree looked around at all the other trees and realized they had changed a lot and in so many ways.  They were bigger, stronger, closer to the sun, enjoying the birds.

➡️ Reflection: Little Tree decided to give change a try.  It wasn’t easy!!  It was a little bit cold at first BUT… then Little Tree started to grow and get stronger.

➡️ Connection: LITTLE TREE was BRAVE!!  Little Tree found its courage to try something new and got bigger and stronger!!

Message: Change isn’t easy, but when we are brave we can do hard things.

If you are looking for another amazing book to talk about change with a slighter older child, be sure to check out:

Note: if you reside in Canada you can purchase these books from Modern Rascals